Photo by Ruby Montalvo published on rubymontalvo.com

Changing paths and dreaming dreams

Photo by Ruby Montalvo published on rubymontalvo.com
Quote by C.S.Lewis Photo by Ruby Montalvo

It’s funny to reflect on how you got where you are, the choices you made and paths you chose to get you to the exact moment you’re in.

And the memories are mental snapshots of those pivotal moments. That’s how it works for me.

It’s tempting to say sometimes, “If only I would’ve done _________________ (fill in the blank), then _______________ (fill in the blank) woudn’t have happened and I’d be ______________. (fill in the blank).”

But there’s no going back. You can only go forward.

And sometimes you have to change paths

When I first decided to retire early from public education, I set out to share what I’d learned about good nutrition and exercise through my menopausal experience. My goal was to help women stay strong and healthy as they age.

That’s when I started blogging.

In the process of writing and talking to people about health and nutrition, I realized they often knew how to stay healthy and lose weight, but they struggled doing it. They needed encouragement and motivation.

That’s where Mindset Monday came in.

I liked talking about nutrition and exercise, just like I liked teaching and being a librarian, but then my goals changed.

One day I decided to listen to something that had been gnawing at me for a while.

I’d taken this early retirement, why don’t I do the one thing I know I’ve always wanted to do… write a book? “If not now, when?” I asked myself.

So I changed paths again and started writing. Even though I had no clue what I was getting into when I started, I finished my 1st draft of my 1st novel on March 15, 2017. After lots of self-doubt, tears, and multiple revisions, I published on May 31, 2018.

Through it all I kept blogging, writing Mindset Monday almost every week. I decided to focus on the encouraging messages I needed to hear…You can do it. Keep going. You have to start somewhere. Strive for progress not perfection. 

I’ve heard from many people about how they needed that boost my blogpost gave them and that’s perfect. That’s the best outcome I could hope for.

But now, my writing goals have changed.

Maybe because now I know I can write a novel, I want to keep writing novels. I want to write short stories and maybe even a screenplay.

And I have a lot of works in progress.

After a lot of learning and missteps, I’m in the process of recording the Audiobook version of A Song for Jessica. I hope to publish by the end of this year.

I have 2 manuscripts (1st drafts) I’m revising. One is the sequel to A Song for Jessica, working title is Allie 2 (I know…creative title) which I hope to publish early 2019, and the other is a project turned out to be a YA, urban fantasy novel that I started November 2017 for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I’m not sure if or when I’ll publish.

I’ve had the extreme good fortune to have 3 Book Signing Events so far and I hope to do more soon. I love talking to people about reading and books and it’s a huge thrill to introduce my work to “strangers”.


I’ve discovered that I’m a real Book Nerd. When I was at Barnes and Noble this past weekend it took tremendous self-control to stay at my table instead of browsing the shelves and peeking at book jackets. Hats off to my husband for keeping me in check!


Looking forward

All that to say … this will be my final installment of Mindset Monday.

I’ll continue blogging about what I’m doing, what I’m learning, and share encouraging messages, but it may not be every week and it won’t be as Mindset Monday. The website may take on a new look and shape. It’s always a Work In Progress.

And I’ll send a newsletter update once or twice a month instead of once a week, so if you haven’t already done so, sign up now for email updates and get my ebook, A Year of Mindset Monday, free while it’s still available.

Thanks for all your support and encouragement and for taking the time to read. If it weren’t for you reading my work I really would be just talking to myself : )

Until next time… wishing you courage, strength, and happiness.

~ Ruby

photo by rubymontalvo published on rubymontalvo.com

The uncertainty of life and preparing for the inevitable

I’m trying something new and including an audio version of the post here:


Life is so uncertain. I know this, but don’t always remember.

When I heard the shocking news of the sudden passing of a healthy, well-loved man in the prime of his life, I immediately thought of his family and friends and the shock and grief they must be feeling at losing him so unexpectedly.

And it reminded me of an important truth:

There’s no guarantee of another day, of another year.

I, too, will die one day. Hopefully later than sooner, but who knows?

Preparing for the inevitable.

Years ago my dad was diagnosed with bone cancer. At the time, I was a single mom doing my best to manage a household and raise two young children while working full-time. Those days were physically and emotionally taxing.

I lived next door to The Murray’s, a retired couple and would chat with Mr. Murray about the weather, the kids, and the goings-on in the neighborhood.

One day I was in the front yard talking to Mr. Murray and somehow and for some reason I told him that my dad had just been diagnosed with bone cancer.

Mr. Murray listened and said, “Well, prepare yourself.”

His response surprised me and got my attention. My dad and I had issues (I’ve written about some of them here), but I always thought my dad was one of those people who would always survive. He’d survived seizures and comas and I thought he’d survive this too. I wasn’t ready.

I’d lost my 27 year-old sister two years before. Though she was ill, her death was sudden and unexpected. I had not been prepared to lose her, to live with the fact that when I said good-bye to her on a cold, clear Christmas night in 1994 that that would be the last time I saw her alive.

But this was different. My dad had bone cancer. This would inevitably kill him. And I was not prepared.

I took Mr. Murray’s advice to heart and mentally and emotionally prepared myself for my dad’s death. It made a big difference in our relationship.

Life and death.

None of this is meant to be morbid or depressing. Really!

I don’t obsess about death, but I am cognizant of the one thing I know for sure: I will die. Some day.

Hopefully not for a long time. If I live to life expectancy, I figure I have about 25 years left.

I consider that ample time to prepare myself. (As it gets closer I may change my mind about how prepared I can be for my own death.)

But for me all this talk about death is not really about death. It’s about life. Time in this life is a finite resource.

It makes me think of my life and what I’ve done and what I still want to do.

I don’t want to obsess about the ticking clock, but I do want to keep it in mind so I remember I’m on a deadline.

We all are, even if we don’t want to think about it.

“Someday” never comes

Read Waiting for “someday” puts dreams out of reach

So if there’s some idea burned in your soul or some passion you hope to pursue someday, there’s no time like the present to get on it.

Right now is all any of us have. Life is uncertain and nothing is guaranteed.

Get over yourself, your fear, your insecurities, your excuses. It can be scary to venture out and do something you’ve never done. But don’t wait for the perfect time when you’re 100% ready.

There’s no time like now to move in the direction of your dreams.


photo courtesy of pixabay published on rubymontalvo.com

How to ignore naysayers and other well-meaning people

Are you up to the challenge of ignoring naysayers and other well-meaning people?

Here’s the scenario. You’re finally ready to face your fears and move in the direction of your dreams. It’s time. No more screwing around. You have a plan and a goal and you know there’ll be challenges, but you’re ready.

You’re so excited that you tell a friend (or relative or teacher) about your goals and dreams. And with just one discouraging word or look or question from them, you walk away full of doubt.

When you decide to follow your dreams there will be challenges, maybe the most difficult is ignoring people who mean well but who really just seem like they’re trying to keep you with all the other crabs in the bucket. (The story goes that several crabs in a bucket keep them all in because if one of them tries to get out, the others will pull him back in.)

But crabs will be crabs.

Be ready for people to be honest without any sugarcoating when they tell you what they don’t understand or see in your vision. “How much will that cost? How can you do that? Is that going to work?” they might say.

And the truth is you don’t really know how it’s going to work. You don’t have all the answers, but you’re determined to figure it out. They may say, “I’m just being honest,” when they tell you they don’t think you should do it without realizing it’s not just what they say but how they say it that can be the most discouraging.

When you’re not 100% sure of yourself and your abilities it’s hard to ignore even the slightest opposition.

But that person who bashed your dreams may be oblivious to his or her power and may not have meant to discourage you. It may not be personal. It’s not that they dislike you and they might even feel like they’re giving you “tough love.”

They mean well and are just trying to give it to you straight. (I know I’ve been that well-meaning parent and I cringe thinking about how “honest” I was.)

So how do you get past it? What can you do to make sure you don’t give up on your dreams because someone says you can’t do it?

Here are a few things to consider to get you past the naysayers and other well-meaning people (Including yourself!).

Have courage. You may know the story of the young Joan of Arc who was ready to lead a revolution and said, “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.” You may not feel that level of courage and commitment, but you have to be able to have courage to press on when others say you can’t or shouldn’t. 

Take heart. You’re not alone. Every successful person who’s done what you want to do has faced the same type of challenges and doubt. Seek out people who have overcome the kinds of challenges you’re facing. Their insights may help you.

Remember the seed was planted in you. I truly believe that the thing you want to do, your goal or aspiration, is not “of you.” It’s a spiritual thing that calls you to take action toward it. You may end up someplace totally unexpected that would have never happened if you hadn’t taken that first step. You may not even be able to explain why you want to do it. Somehow that makes it easier to ignore people who say you can’t do it. 

Show up and work. One of the things about following your dream is that it takes a lot of work. It’s easy to say what you’re going to do and a whole different thing to do it. Track your progress so when it seems like you’re getting nowhere and the naysayers were right, you can look at how far you’ve come even if you still have a long way to go.

Don’t expect people to be as excited as you are. There may be nothing worse than sharing the thrill of a victory (even a small one) and getting no response. Not even crickets. Or worse, instead of no response they say something negative. Don’t let it get you down. You know what you’ve done and what you’ve learned from it. Sometimes that has to be enough.

Don’t overthink it. Your work won’t be for everyone. Don’t waste your energy trying to bring people around to believing in your dream. They may not understand what you’re trying to do. It’s okay. Stay focused, set your goals, and work one day at a time.

Stay strong while you’re moving in the direction of your dreams. Be prepared to ignore people who say you can’t or shouldn’t. They may love you and mean well, but that doesn’t mean you have to let them decide your path.

Read more about overcoming obstacles, read What are you waiting for?

photo courtesy of pixabay.com published on rubymontalvo.com

Start strong, finish stronger

I’ve often thought about the idea of “starting” and whether it’s easier to start or finish. (I think I must’ve been a deep thinking philosopher in another life.)

It’s a little like the chicken and egg question and doesn’t seem answer-able because you can’t finish if you don’t start, but that doesn’t make it any easier to start.

And for the sake of discussion here, I’m talking about starting and finishing things you want to do for your own personal fulfillment.

Possibly to improve your life, possibly just for the joy of doing it, possibly for the satisfaction of checking off your bucket list, anything that requires you to get out of your regular routine, kind of get away from “Auto-Pilot” mode to disrupt your regular routine.

You’ll have to commit time, energy, and maybe even money.

The challenge of starting

For the purpose of simplifying the discussion, let’s pick a project. Let’s say we want to run a marathon.

A marathon is 26.2 miles. Let’s say the furthest you’ve ever run in your life is a 5k, 3.1 miles.

Here are some things people might say when you tell them you’re thinking about running a marathon:

Why would you want to do that?

Do you know anything about it?

You’re crazy.

Why the hell would you do that?

You’re not a runner.

That’ll be cool. You can cross the finish line like “Rocky”!

That’s awesome!

The only good reason to run is if something’s chasing you.

Why?

You start to doubt whether you can really do it. You consider the investment of time and money and think, “Why do I want to do this?”

You list your reasons to go ahead with it:

for the physical challenge

I’ve always wanted to

for the satisfaction of starting and finishing.

Then you think,“Wow, all this figuring and mental ping-pong is exhausting!” And you haven’t even done anything yet! But, in a way, you have.

When you undertake a marathon-like project you have to know that there’ll be obstacles. And you’re sure to encounter some you hadn’t considered.

photo courtesy of pixabay.com published on rubymontalvo.com

It won’t be easy. The road will be long. Some people will doubt you can do it.

If you’ve considered all those things and gone back and forth about whether you should or not before commiting 100% and you want to do it anyway, and you decide you’re going to do it, that’s what will get you to the start. And you can’t get to the finish unless you get to the start.

It’s impossible to finish unless you start.

In our scenario, our enthusiastic but inexperienced runner goes out on her first training run and struggles to do 3 miles. In her mind she thinks, “How in the world am I going to run 26 when I feel like I’m dying after 3?”

Doubt creeps in, but she’s ready for it. She shakes it off and tells herself, “It’s okay. At least I got out there and did it. I have to start somewhere so I might as well start at the beginning.” (For more on this, see Believe in yourself when doubt creeps in)

That’s the spirit!

You have to start somewhere. Don’t shut yourself down before you’ve even started.

You have to trust the process (See Be patient and trust the process) and believe you can do it.

It’s okay if it’s a rough start. You knew there’d be obstacles.

Have a beginner’s mindset and be open to learning all you can. You may be surprised to learn of ways to make the experience more pleasant and maybe even fun. (See Embrace the Beginner’s Mindset)

Keep moving in the direction of your goal and you’ll gain momentum toward it.

Remember why you started. You may have had more reasons not to do it than to do it, but none of that matters because you’re committed. You knew it wouldn’t be easy going in.

I don’t know if it’s harder to start or finish. But logic tells us it’s impossible to finish what you never start.

When you start, knowing there’ll be challenges ahead and that it won’t be easy, but you’re ready to do it anyway, you’re more likely to finish what you’ve started. 

So how about you?

What marathon-like goal do you have? How close are you to starting?

When you’re ready to commit, remember, you have to start somewhere. Forget about wanting to be perfect and always keep in mind why you started. That’s your why and your why will move you forward when you feel you can’t go another step.

Photo courtesy of pixabay.com published on strong-woman.com

What are you waiting for?

Have you ever wanted to do something, but haven’t done it because it’s just never been the right time?

So that “something” becomes one of those gnawing passions that doesn’t go away, that thing you feel like you should be doing, but for some reason, you’re not; something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t.

Maybe it’s running a marathon, getting your degree, starting a charity or foundation, starting a blog, writing poetry, painting, doing yoga, learning to juggle, performing as a clown, or traveling the world.

If someone were to ask you, “Why do you want to do that?” you may have a hard time answering.

There may not be a clear or straightforward explanation for wanting to do this thing you want to do. All you know is that somewhere along the way a seed was planted in your soul that made you think, “I want to do that.”

But “Life got in the way,” as they say.

When we say “Life got in the way,” it makes it seem as if there’s a straight path to something ahead and along the way you live life, maybe get married, have kids, buy a house, etc.

We wait to:

  • have kids grow up
  • have more money
  • pay off the car
  • lose weight
  • get a better job
  • get a promotion
  • have more time
  • get more training
  • be more mentally prepared
  • have better conditions

But “Life” goes on. And all those moving parts and people in your life sometimes move and act in ways you don’t expect, further delaying your chance to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.

Even in the unlikely scenario that “Life” goes exactly as you’d expected and the day finally comes when you can finally do what you’ve always wanted to do, will you be ready? Will you be okay with starting at the beginning? Or will you feel like it’s too late for you now?

What are you waiting for?

Don’t wait for condiitons to be perfect and don’t expect it all to go smoothly. When you take on your dream you will encounter struggles, some external, many internal.

As I’ve been out promoting my book I’ve met people who say, “I’ve always wanted to write a book.”

My response to them: Do it. Now. You absolutely can. Start writing.

Obstacles in your path

I used to get cranky because something always came up that stopped me from what I wanted to do, but I hadn’t realized that my biggest obstacles were the ones that came from me: fear, Resistance, lack of confidence (to name a few).

There will always be obstacles in your path.

The question is: will you step over them, go around them, ask for help in getting past them, or will you let them block your way? Will you continue to use those “reasons” for keeping you from doing that thing you’ve always wanted to do?

Stop waiting. You can figure it out. It’s okay if it’s not perfect (in fact, it almost certainly won’t be!) but you have to start somewhere. (Read my blogpost Strive for progress not perfection for more on this point.)

Some tips to get you started:

  • Set small, incremental goals. Little by little adds up to a lot.
  • Have a cheerleader. You’ll need someone who can give you a pep talk when you’re doubting you can or should be doing what you’re doing. Even online groups or social media groups can help you through the rough patches.
  • Ignore the people who say you can’t. Or that you’re crazy or stupid or irresponsible for doing what you’re doing. You may actually agree with them on some level, but don’t let that stop you.
  • Life is a composite of what you do and how you spend your time. Keep your priorties in order even when you’re working toward fulfilling your dreams.
  • Fill as many “time leaks” as possible. It’s like when you’re trying to reduce your water or electricity usage, some sound advice is to repair all leaks. What are your “time leaks”? A little occasional mindless down-time isn’t a big deal, but pay attention and don’t let yourself get sucked into a “time waister vortex” so what you intended to last 10 minutes turns out to be two hours you’ll never get back. No bueno.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. 

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Stop waiting to do whatever it is you’ve “always wanted to do”. Get started now to make your dreams a reality. The world is waiting.

Think it’s too late for you? Check out this awesome woman who got around the obstacles in her way to finally do what she’s always wanted to do:

Why One Woman Decided To Become A Doctor At Age 59

photo by ruby montalvo published on rubymontalvo.com

It’s important to be good to others, but don’t forget to be good to yourself too

Be good to yourself. It’s a simple concept. It means treat yourself with love, consideration, and kindness. Be understanding and forgiving towards yourself.

The concept is simple, but not always easy.

What does it mean?

“Good people” are kind, supportive, considerate, and generous. They help us feel positive about ourselves and about life.

They’re like a warm blanket on a cold night or a bowl of chicken soup to ease a scratchy throat. 

But sometimes it feels more natural to be good to a stranger than to ourselves.

We tend to beat ourselves up, focus on our weaknesses, and criticize ourselves when we’re less than perfect. 

How can we lift ourselves up instead of putting ourselves down?

Be kind. Especially through difficult times, small acts of kindness go a long way. Take a few minutes out of a busy day to meditate, listen to uplifting music, or go for a walk.

Smile. Let your smile be your signature look. It can change your disposition and open your heart to self-love.

Be grateful. There’s an old saying that goes, “I cried that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” It doesn’t change your situation, but it may help you see it in a more positive light.

Forgive. Forgiveness is a powerful gift. It can take time to “get over” mistakes and imperfections, but it starts with a choice to forgive yourself.

Every day is a chance to be better than you were yesterday, to do better than you did yesterday. Make it a point to treat yourself with love, kindness, and compassion. Be good to yourself the same way you strive to be good to those you love.

Photo by Ruby Montalvo published on rubymontalvo.com

The struggle to finish and get to the “The End”

I’m working on another book, a follow up to A Song for Jessica.

And I’m having a heckuva time getting to “The End,”

Finishing that last 1/3 of the book has really gotten me down.

It’s hard to finish off a project, especially one that has no concrete deadline, no one waiting for it, no one depending on it for life, health, welfare, or other.

And I’ve given this idea a lot of thought: Why is it so hard to get to “The End”?

Here are some ideas:

Finishing the first draft means I’ll have to look at what I’ve done.

Ernest Hemingway once said, “The first draft of anything is sh**.” This first draft is a necessary step in a long process. I can’t expect the work to be good at this stage, but I can’t go any further until I finish this first draft. Finishing the first stage forces me to see what I’ve written which leads me to wonder if it’s enough of a story.

Self-doubt can shut me down.

It’s constant, but for me, self-doubt gets worse toward the finish. I have to do my best to avoid the negative self-talk and keep the positive and encouraging self-talk going.

I feel impatient for the final draft and I have a long way to go before I get there.

With my first book I didn’t know what I was getting into. I was naive enough to think it was pretty decent when I handed copies out to my Beta Readers wanting their honest feedback on the work, and Thank God, I had people who could tell me the truth. It needed work.

I think most projects are hard to finish, but maybe for slightly different reasons.

  • We get bored and are ready to do something else.
  • Or we love what we’re doing and don’t want it to end because then what would we do.
  • We lose our motivation to finish for some other undefined reason

Years ago I ran the Chicago Marathon and I was so close to the finish and so tired and ready to be done, and I remember thinking, “One step at a time. Just put one foot in front of the other.”

I kept my eyes on the finish line and kept moving forward. That’s how I finished. It wasn’t pretty, but it was done.

That same mindset will get me to “The End.”

There must be some sort of study about why it’s so hard to finish stuff (books, notebooks, challenges, etc.), but I don’t need anyone to tell me it’s hard.

And there may be other, more sophisticated ways of getting to the end, but I’ll just keep doing it the way I did it that unseasonably warm October day in Chicago:

Focus on the finish line and take one step at a time.

That’s how I’ll get to “The End”.  And I can’t overthink it or I’ll never get there. 

Slow is okay as long as I’m moving forward with the finish line in sight.

Photo by Ruby Montalvo published on strong-woman.com

The downside of comparing yourself to others and how to get past it

Everyone does it, right?

Compare your success to someone else your age and think, “Wow! She’s so successful and so happy. And I’m struggling every day. Why can’t I be more like that?”

Maybe it’s only human to judge your actions and success as compared to others. That sense of competitiveness is ingrained in us. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But how does another person’s success or failure impact you?

Let’s say your friend is super successful. Great job, happy marriage, cool vacations, nice car.

Does it make you feel happy for her and worse for you? Does it spark a drive that makes you want to work harder, be smarter, and more like her?

Or does it make you feel more like a failure? Do you beat yourself up for not being further along or more successful?

What if your friend suffers a setback, maybe loses her job? Do you suddenly feel better about yourself and your situation?

Focus on you

Comparing yourself to others may be “normal” and “common”, but it can put you in a lingering negative mindset.

Even though, when you think about it,  you know your experience/situation/progress are unique to you (as others’ are to them), and it’s counter-productive to compare yourself, it can be difficult to stop.

Some things to consider:

Keep your focus on you.

The only person you have any hope of controlling is yourself. Be your best you and life will be better for you and those you love.

Count your blessings.

Nothing can turn around a bad day like a healthy dose of gratitude. Life is fragile and nothing is guaranteed. Spend more time counting your blessings than comparing yourself to others.

Celebrate others’ success.

Have you ever known anyone who waits for someone to fall on her face and then laughs like Nelson from The Simpsons, “Ha ha!” If you watch The Simpsons you know Nelson was a bully and a sad and lonely kid.

Another person’s success doesn’t make you a failure. Be happy for them and keep focusing on your work and goals.


Get past the negativity

It’s normal to compare yourself to others, but don’t let it leave you feeling negative and envious.

Make your only challenge to be better than you were yesterday. Strive to be the best “you” you can be.

Photo by ruby montalvo published on rubymontalvo.com

3 Empowering messages to tell yourself when you feel doubtful

You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem, 
and smarter than you think. 

~ A.A. Milne

We’re often our own biggest obstacle. And we don’t even have to say a word or lift a finger to sabotage our own success.

All we have to do is play those old messages we keep in our heads, the ones that say we don’t know what we’re doing, we’re not good enough, we’ll never succeed, and our ideas are stupid.

Those negative messages that fill us with doubt and keep us from ever getting started.

They become our excuses to stay where we are and keep us from trying something new. Those messages keep us from doing what we’ve always dreamed of doing.

What does that mean for you?

What’s that thing you’ve dreamed of doing, but never tried because you think, “It’ll never happen.”

What would happen if you empowered yourself to move forward instead of shutting yourself down before you even start?

Replace those old, negative messages with these empowering truths:

You’re braver than you believe.

Bravery is not the absence of fear, it’s taking action despite being afraid. The unknown can be scary. It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let fear keep you from taking steps toward your goals and dreams. Build yourself up instead of building up your fear.

You’re stronger than you seem.

What’s your idea of strength? If you consider a person you think is very strong, chances are she wouldn’t have chosen her course. She did what she had to do. Even she may not have imagined she could do what she did, but when the time came, she chose to persevere.

And when you pursue a goal because you want to do it, not because you have to, you may not realize the strength you posess. You think, “I could never do that.”

But you start anyway. And little by little you accomplish that goal you didn’t believe you were strong enough to accomplish, and you’re as surprised as anyone.

You don’t know how strong you are until you have to be.

You’re smarter than you think.

You have intuition that goes beyond knowledge. Intuition helps you sort through what you know and guides you in your best direction. You may not think of yourself as being very smart, but your intuition makes you smarter than you think.

And no one knows everything about everything. That’s okay. Ask questions and figure it out as you go along.


Your goals and aspirations are important. Don’t let self-doubt and fear can keep you from  them.

When you feel doubtful about your own abilities, remind yourself:

You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Watering day and other excuses for not getting to work

Watering day and other excuses for not getting to work

Have you ever had a project that you want to do and know you need to do, but for some reason you avoid doing it? Maybe it’s really important and you’re afraid you’ll mess it up, or you’re not 100% confident you know what you’re doing so you avoid it completely.

This is my account of one of those days written as it happened.

Today is Thursday.

The time is now 11:40 AM and I have not written a single word of my work in progress.

It’s getting late. I need to sit down and write my daily 1000 – 1500 words (first draft of new book, a sequel to A Song for Jessica). I can usually get it done in about an hour and a half, two at the most. Most days I’m done by 11 am.

But today I’ve felt distracted.

Usually, the idea of sitting down to write a scene or develop a character gets me out of bed in the morning. Seriously, I know how lucky I am that I get to to do this.

Today, instead of jumping out of bed ready to write, I lied in bed feeling sleepy until I remembered it’s my watering day (San Antonio Stage 1 water restrictions). I haven’t been very consistent about watering the grass and my yard’s looking downright dusty, so I had to get up.

Once I got the sprinkler and water height just right, I set the timer to remind me to move it to the next spot.

Put a load of laundry to wash.

Walked my dogs.

Moved the sprinkler.

Sat and stared at my blank computer screen.

Water my potted vegetable plants that aren’t doing so well.

Moved the clothes.

Talked to my daughter on the phone for at least 20 mins.

Moved the sprinkler.

Wrote a few words, then deleted them.

Got on Social media, checked emails, read some articles on book marketing, made coffee, ate watermelon.

Folded clothes.

Turned the water off and put the sprinkler away.

Sat and stared at my blank computer screen.

This is really not like me.

It’s like I’m avoiding sitting down to write as if I don’t want to do something I usually love. What’s wrong with me?

Because I’m an analytical person, it makes me wonder why I’m not doing what I know I need to do. I can think about that for another 30 minutes or hour, which will solve nothing.

So instead of writing my work in progress (my 2nd novel), which is my priority because I want to publish in December, I’m writing this blogpost about avoiding my work.

This avoidance doesn’t feel quite like procrastination. I’ve often …

(oh, hold on. Someone’s at the door.)

Okay, I’m just getting back to my desk. My niece stopped by to drop something off and we ended up talking for about 40 minutes. But that’s okay!

Focused conversation with a grown niece or nephew is a rare and special occurrence.

So, yes. It’s now nearly 12:30 and still not a word of my story written today.

I have a blogpost drafted. That’s something.

My yard’s watered. That’s something. A load of laundry’s done. That’s something. I talked to my daughter and she had a very productive day. That’s something. I got to visit with my niece. That’s something.

Those are all good and important things.

But I have work to do.

It doesn’t matter why I’m avoiding it or what I’m doing instead. What matters most, in this case, is that I’ve committed to tell a story. So tell it.

Okay. I’m ready.

Just do it.

When I finally settle in and get it done, I exceed my 1500 word goal. The scene is done and will need extensive editing, of course. But I can’t edit what’s not there, so writing the far from perfect first draft is a necessary step.

And I realized something interesting as I wrote.

The scene needed an important pivotal point in the plot that I wasn’t sure how I was going to work through. It made me wonder if that’s what I had been avoiding all morning.

But an idea developed as I worked, something I hadn’t planned. The scene may change, but it’s a starting point and that’s what I needed.

So, it’s nearly 3 PM and my work is done for the day. It wasn’t pretty, and it felt a little painful today, but it’s done.

That makes me smile.

It’s a good reminder:

A day when you’ve done your work, even when it was hard and even when you could have left it for tomorrow, is a good day.

Little by little, a little becomes a lot. ~ Tanzanian proverb