The downside of comparing yourself to others and how to get past it

Everyone does it, right?

Compare your success to someone else your age and think, “Wow! She’s so successful and so happy. And I’m struggling every day. Why can’t I be more like that?”

Maybe it’s only human to judge your actions and success as compared to others. That sense of competitiveness is ingrained in us. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But how does another person’s success or failure impact you?

Let’s say your friend is super successful. Great job, happy marriage, cool vacations, nice car.

Does it make you feel happy for her and worse for you? Does it spark a drive that makes you want to work harder, be smarter, and more like her?

Or does it make you feel more like a failure? Do you beat yourself up for not being further along or more successful?

What if your friend suffers a setback, maybe loses her job? Do you suddenly feel better about yourself and your situation?

Focus on you

Comparing yourself to others may be “normal” and “common”, but it can put you in a lingering negative mindset.

Even though, when you think about it,  you know your experience/situation/progress are unique to you (as others’ are to them), and it’s counter-productive to compare yourself, it can be difficult to stop.

Some things to consider:

Keep your focus on you.

The only person you have any hope of controlling is yourself. Be your best you and life will be better for you and those you love.

Count your blessings.

Nothing can turn around a bad day like a healthy dose of gratitude. Life is fragile and nothing is guaranteed. Spend more time counting your blessings than comparing yourself to others.

Celebrate others’ success.

Have you ever known anyone who waits for someone to fall on her face and then laughs like Nelson from The Simpsons, “Ha ha!” If you watch The Simpsons you know Nelson was a bully and a sad and lonely kid.

Another person’s success doesn’t make you a failure. Be happy for them and keep focusing on your work and goals.


Get past the negativity

It’s normal to compare yourself to others, but don’t let it leave you feeling negative and envious.

Make your only challenge to be better than you were yesterday. Strive to be the best “you” you can be.

6 thoughts on “The downside of comparing yourself to others and how to get past it

  • July 16, 2018 at 10:06 am
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    Awesome encouragement for today and everyday. Always strive to become a better version of yourself than you were yesterday. Have a blessed week Comadre!!!

  • July 16, 2018 at 10:36 am
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    Hi Ruby!
    I love your posts each week! Are you still doing group workouts? Thinking about getting back in the habit of taking care of self!
    Martha Williams

    • July 16, 2018 at 11:19 am
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      Hi Martha! Glad you enjoy the posts : ) We don’t do the workouts anymore but interval running most Saturdays. I’ll email/call you to let you know details. Have a great day and thanks for reading!

  • July 16, 2018 at 1:10 pm
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    Great reminders sis! It’s so easy to get caught up in the comparing game so thanks for always knowing how to encourage us to keep our “mindset” in the right direction. Always an inspiration! Love ya!

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