Have you ever felt like you were fumbling along just trying to figure things out and hoping for the best? Like you don’t know what the heck you’re doing. Parenting is a lot like that, or taking a leap of faith without a net.
In a previous blogpost, What to do when you feel stuck in the weeds I covered some tips to help get you through those times when you feel unfocused, overwhelmed, or unsure you’re on the right track.
That’s what I call being in the weeds. The tips:
- Stay flexible
- Connect with people who’ve been where you are
- Find a process that works for you
- Trust the process
If you missed my previous post about being flexible, click here.
And now tip #2:
When you feel overwhelmed and you’re not sure which way to turn, connecting with people who’ve been where you are can help. Why not learn from their experience and insight?
Connect with people who’ve been where you are.
There are a ton of ways to do it. So many avenues and platforms — YouTube videos, Podcasts, Blogs, MeetUps, Facebook groups — and new ones popping up every day.
It takes time and energy to explore what might help or at least to disregard what won’t work for you. Consider it an investment toward your well-being.
Here are a few things that work for me.
Read a book
This is pretty much my go-to.
When I was going through a divorce a lifetime ago, I felt overwhelmed and lost.
I did then what I do now — looked for a book to help guide me through it. And there were a bunch, but from of all the books I read, the one that helped me the most was a book called “Crazy Time”. The cover was red. (I looked it up. The author is Abigail Trafford)
Of all the books I read during that time, Crazy Time helped me get through that rough patch of weeds. It gave me perspective and understanding and gave me hope that I’d get through it.
I recommended the book to people I knew going through divorce, but it may not have helped them like it helped me.
Sometimes we have to be like Goldilocks and keep trying until we find the one that’s just right. No doubt there’s something out there that’s exactly what you’re looking for.
Listen more and be open minded
In education, teachers share “Best Practices” – what’s worked for them and how they do it.
Potential mentors are everywhere. Listen to people who share “Best Practices”. You may pick up some great info or at least get ideas about what might work for you. Be open minded.
When you’re stuck in the weeds and you have no idea how to get out you may be tempted to shoot down every idea and think of every reason it won’t work. But the reality is if you want something different you have to do something different.
Use what works for you and develop your own “Best Practices”. Expect a few misses but keep the faith.
Mentors, Masterminds, MeetUps and More
There are a gazillion opportunities to benefit from another person’s experience both in person and online.
When I decided to go gray I found a Facebook group called Going Gray and Loving It. Women shared their experiences and posted pictures through their different phases of growth. Riveting news, I know, but those women helped me get through those rough days when I hated my gray hair and thought about diving back into the dye.
Pick a platform – blog, video, social media – and start looking for a group or individual who sounds interesting to you. Peruse articles/posts/videos. You’ll be able to tell right away if they’re a good fit. You may follow them for years or just for a little while, like the Going Grey group was for me. That’s fine.
However you decide to connect with people who’ve been where you are, remember:
People want to help.
Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to connect with people who can help you get through life’s rough patches.
There’s a way out of the weeds. If you know there’s someone who can give you directions, why not hear what they have to say?